“Negative Emotions”, A Misunderstood Purpose

You might have heard by now mindful statements like "all emotions and feelings are valid". On another hand, how many times have you heard or said "negative emotions" to describe emotions difficult to hold, accept and regulate?

How can something valid be negative? How can something negative be valid?

Behind this rhetoric, I understand some of the various reasons why we tend to call and we were taught to call some emotions "negative". I also understand that different cultures, different ethnographic groups, different moments in time, different individuals and beliefs, will have different perspectives on which emotions to describe as negative or not.

That being said, I think this approach doesn't foster a healthy dialogue with and a healthy process of emotions.

Emotions are natural and learned responses to experiences lived, imagined or witnessed. They are educative and purposeful.

I've learned through my Psychosynthesis training that at the core of any emotion or feeling there is a reason/a rational to be, a message to hear, a quality to hold and a need to listen to and try to meet.

My life prior to that training and since, - as much as my practice as a Counsellor -, has never ceased to confirm that learning. A learning that has become a key component in the therapy I provide to my clients.

Yes, the expression of certain emotions can be painful, problematic, uncomfortable, enigmatic, confusing, stressful, invasive, overwhelming and/or destructive if we don't learn to actively listen to, manage and process them in a healthy manner throughout their potential distortion or dysfunctionality.

But those emotions aren't negative in their essence because emotions always have something to teach us about who we are/who we aren't, what we want or don't want, need or don't need, boundaries to assert, re-affirm or create, what works for us & what doesn't, our values, and how we are impacted by people and situations as much as how we want to impact them.

Let's take anger for example. One of the most labelled "negative" emotion of all. Anger, - like a lot of other emotions -, is quite complex so I'm not going to try to articulate all its complexity here.

I will say though that I believe two of its main characteristics are: an expression of revolt against unfairness & a protection from hurt.

See how when you approach anger this way it becomes hard to keep labelling anger as "negative"?

[ARTICLE IN PROGRESS - As I have a tendency to start a lot of articles and never finish them, I wanted to post this one even if it's unfinished to invite the beginning of a reflection on this topic.]